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Saturday 4 September 2010
Monday 30 November 2009
message 11
One year at a centre i used to work at i won "the least likey to have his key ring" award at the annual staff Christmas party where they always made fun little prizes. You see you needed your key ring to get through the front gates and without it the receptionists would always have to get up and buzz you in. I never did it intentionally it was just that my office was on the outside of the gates so i would go through dozens of times a day. Normally i had it and if i left it i would almost always go back to my office to get it but inevitably there would be times when i was in a rush and needed one of the receptionists to buzz me in, hence the award.
What effect do you think recieving this award had on me?
Being somebody who understands the power of labels (and yes maybe is a bit of a trouble maker) i no longer cared at all if i forgot my key ring. I would just go up to the gate with a big smile and my hands in the air and say " i know i know, no key ring guy". Everyone would giggle and i would be buzzed in. The net affect on my behavior was that it got worse.....
I know some of you are thinking i was just being silly but do not underestimate the power of labels. People are inclined to behave conguently with their self labels. Great leaders, coaches, teachers, and all people of influence understand this principle and use it to shape positive labels and therefore beliefs and behaviours in people. Unfortunately negative labels have as much influence as postitive ones and people develop them with disasterous results far to often. Once we label a person, lazy, shy, quite, messy, insecure, a troublemaker it is very often going to just increase any problems they are having. I have seen this happen to so many athletes with devasting effect.
Be proactive in developing labels in your athletes or employees or children. Start by developing a strong defenition of powerful positive labels. This can happen very subtly when you catch them really running after a tough ball, going back over the numbers again, trying over and over again to tie a shoe lace tell them "that is great determination you are showing to keep trying when its tough" The next time you see a similar behaviour you can say "wow you always show such great determination when you have a challenge" the next time you will say "that just like you, you have such amazing determination" and the positive labeling is underway. This can be done of couse for any label (positive or negative so be carefull!).
What a wonderful gift you can give somebody the positive self label of confident, courageous, hard worker, determined etc. I am confident you will be amazed by the results of helping people build their "who to be" qualities through strong labels which ultimately become part of their identity.
Good Luck!
What effect do you think recieving this award had on me?
Being somebody who understands the power of labels (and yes maybe is a bit of a trouble maker) i no longer cared at all if i forgot my key ring. I would just go up to the gate with a big smile and my hands in the air and say " i know i know, no key ring guy". Everyone would giggle and i would be buzzed in. The net affect on my behavior was that it got worse.....
I know some of you are thinking i was just being silly but do not underestimate the power of labels. People are inclined to behave conguently with their self labels. Great leaders, coaches, teachers, and all people of influence understand this principle and use it to shape positive labels and therefore beliefs and behaviours in people. Unfortunately negative labels have as much influence as postitive ones and people develop them with disasterous results far to often. Once we label a person, lazy, shy, quite, messy, insecure, a troublemaker it is very often going to just increase any problems they are having. I have seen this happen to so many athletes with devasting effect.
Be proactive in developing labels in your athletes or employees or children. Start by developing a strong defenition of powerful positive labels. This can happen very subtly when you catch them really running after a tough ball, going back over the numbers again, trying over and over again to tie a shoe lace tell them "that is great determination you are showing to keep trying when its tough" The next time you see a similar behaviour you can say "wow you always show such great determination when you have a challenge" the next time you will say "that just like you, you have such amazing determination" and the positive labeling is underway. This can be done of couse for any label (positive or negative so be carefull!).
What a wonderful gift you can give somebody the positive self label of confident, courageous, hard worker, determined etc. I am confident you will be amazed by the results of helping people build their "who to be" qualities through strong labels which ultimately become part of their identity.
Good Luck!
Sunday 29 November 2009
message 10
It seems message 10 is a good time for a reflection on how this blog is going.....i have reread the previous posts and hoped you have found them benefecial in some way or another. In reading them they did not have the systematic delivery i had been planning! in saying that the message has been fairly consistent:)
1. defining success
2. questioning yourself
3. belief
4. taking responsibility
5. work ethic
6. Teach/Train/Coach (will be going back to this!)
7. challenging fears
8. various reflections (didnt seem to fit in!)
9. delayed gratification
As i mentioned in one of the previous posts i catagorize most things under "who you are", "what you do", and "what you know". To this point the vast majority of the posts can fit into the "who you are" category which is a fair reflection of its importance. Without these qualities i just do not believe that somebody with all the understanding or practical skills in the world can ever become truely great.
This week i will start to write on more specific points of what to do to develop these qualities in yourself and others as well as looking at how to develop other skills and behaviors. i am certain that i will go back often and add to the "who you are" list as i have experiences that bring them to the forfront. However this week i will be writing on a very regular basis on HOW TO.
Even with a lot or people reading the blogs it is hard to know what posts are most useful. If they can be summed up so far as "who you are", "what to do", and sharing experiences please let me know what is most useful for you so i can make this platform as effective as possible.
1. defining success
2. questioning yourself
3. belief
4. taking responsibility
5. work ethic
6. Teach/Train/Coach (will be going back to this!)
7. challenging fears
8. various reflections (didnt seem to fit in!)
9. delayed gratification
As i mentioned in one of the previous posts i catagorize most things under "who you are", "what you do", and "what you know". To this point the vast majority of the posts can fit into the "who you are" category which is a fair reflection of its importance. Without these qualities i just do not believe that somebody with all the understanding or practical skills in the world can ever become truely great.
This week i will start to write on more specific points of what to do to develop these qualities in yourself and others as well as looking at how to develop other skills and behaviors. i am certain that i will go back often and add to the "who you are" list as i have experiences that bring them to the forfront. However this week i will be writing on a very regular basis on HOW TO.
Even with a lot or people reading the blogs it is hard to know what posts are most useful. If they can be summed up so far as "who you are", "what to do", and sharing experiences please let me know what is most useful for you so i can make this platform as effective as possible.
Sunday 22 November 2009
message 9
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wWW1vpz1ybo
The video is a fun re-enacment of the marshlow test that was conducted by Dr. Walter Mischel at Stanford University in the 60's and 70's. in simple terms the test was conducted to study delayed gratification.
"What Mischel found over years of following test subjects was that children who rang the bell early - in order to eat the one marshmallow - had more behavioral and academic problems growing up, got lower SAT scores and struggled in stressful situations and had limited friendships as adults. In essence, their lack of self-control had life long effects." Patterson, C., & Mischel, W. (1976). Effects of temptation-inhibiting and task-facilitating plans on self-control. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology
In my experience this inability to struggle a bit now for the longer term good is a very common obstacle to greatness in players as well. Be it the player the parent or the coach so many players move on so quickly from task to task or skill to skill in a search to find the magic fix that will help them win more now. How often do i see lessons on a monday or tuesday that are to fix that low backhand that "caused me to lose on the weekend" or a parent telling the coach to work on the second serve because their child "double faulted the match away".
I see players who are barely able to rally being challenged to play on "real courts" or with "real balls and racquets".
Even though research suggests it takes a normal person thousands of repetitions over weeks to develop a skill i see coaches teaching a new skill every lesson or two.
I feel it is this lack of discipline that leads so many players to subpar development and ultimately limits their long term performance.
good players practice until they can make it, great players practice until they can't not make it"
Do not be in a rush to the next level, the next skill etc. Show the self-control to aoid a "quick fix" mentality. Take a longer term view, be willing to take the time now and put in the thousands of repetitions that will pay off later. There are no quick routes to excellence, be patient, work diligently, get a little better everyday.
This ability to control your urge for the quick fix, to work now for future gain is a characteristic of highly successful people. Be patient and stay focused on your goals, in the long run you will reach your full potential.
The video is a fun re-enacment of the marshlow test that was conducted by Dr. Walter Mischel at Stanford University in the 60's and 70's. in simple terms the test was conducted to study delayed gratification.
"What Mischel found over years of following test subjects was that children who rang the bell early - in order to eat the one marshmallow - had more behavioral and academic problems growing up, got lower SAT scores and struggled in stressful situations and had limited friendships as adults. In essence, their lack of self-control had life long effects." Patterson, C., & Mischel, W. (1976). Effects of temptation-inhibiting and task-facilitating plans on self-control. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology
In my experience this inability to struggle a bit now for the longer term good is a very common obstacle to greatness in players as well. Be it the player the parent or the coach so many players move on so quickly from task to task or skill to skill in a search to find the magic fix that will help them win more now. How often do i see lessons on a monday or tuesday that are to fix that low backhand that "caused me to lose on the weekend" or a parent telling the coach to work on the second serve because their child "double faulted the match away".
I see players who are barely able to rally being challenged to play on "real courts" or with "real balls and racquets".
Even though research suggests it takes a normal person thousands of repetitions over weeks to develop a skill i see coaches teaching a new skill every lesson or two.
I feel it is this lack of discipline that leads so many players to subpar development and ultimately limits their long term performance.
good players practice until they can make it, great players practice until they can't not make it"
Do not be in a rush to the next level, the next skill etc. Show the self-control to aoid a "quick fix" mentality. Take a longer term view, be willing to take the time now and put in the thousands of repetitions that will pay off later. There are no quick routes to excellence, be patient, work diligently, get a little better everyday.
This ability to control your urge for the quick fix, to work now for future gain is a characteristic of highly successful people. Be patient and stay focused on your goals, in the long run you will reach your full potential.
Friday 6 November 2009
message 8
I have finished my crazy 3 weeks. It included speaking in conferences in Scotland and Spain as well as working at academies in Belgium and various parts of England and Canada.
From now on i will write this blog weekly and i hope you continue to enjoy it.
for this post i would like to share with you a few of the more interesting meetings/experiences i had over the last few weeks
I met Jackie Reardon, co-author of "MINDSET". I will keep you posted as i read the book or feel free to share thoughts if you have already read it. By talking with her it seems to be a very practical read that can be helpful and not just interesting as so many books on the subject seem to be. I liked the concepts of action vs story thinking
I finished reading Beyond Winning by Gary Walton. It was a very enjoyable read. i loved the label of "philosopher coaches" and the stories of the 6 legendary coaches were moving. It is clear that whatever the sport the "develop the person" model is key to so many coaches success. i have heard so many coaches say that, but is it really what you do?
I sat in on an NLP session on "effective language" and goal setting. Both were great, i was really impressed with the goal setting. Considering how many goal setting sessions i have been part of and delivered it is great when you can still take something from it. In this case it was the idea of "walking through your goals". i do not normally respond to these types of sessions but i have to say it was really really good. the idea is to write your goal out and put it on the wall at the end of the room. then write out all the short term goals you will need to meet to successfully reach your final goal. Take it right down to what you need to do today to get you started. Once all your short term goals are written out and on the floor in the sequence they will happen on the way to your goal then walk over them. Reflect on how it feels to have met that first goal, then the next. Are there spots that seem more difficult or more inspiring. Reflect on why that might be and how you can work through them all. In the end I found the overwhelming feeling of "this is easy" as you don't see 50 actions to meet your goal, just the next step..... i have already walked through the first 2 steps towards my goal!!
At the Spanish conference i had a chance to watch a few of the top spanish coaches do their thing. it is so clear that it is not about the skills they teach through their drills it is the people they create. They teach players to push their limits, to get more out of themselves. i loved the quote "if it is done too well it is too easy". There is a constant pursuit to push yourself harder then the last time. No wander they have a steady flow of champions.....
Talk to you next week
Sunday 18 October 2009
Message 7
Thank you to everyone who has started to read my blog, the numbers seem to be going up and up. Also thank you for your patience with how long it has taken to make this post. i am in the middle of a stint that has me in 5 countries and 9 cities in 19 days and i have been too busy to get back to this as regularly as i plan.
In addition to the length of time I have taken i am going to go off the last topic a bit as well! Just had some valuabale interactions over the last week of my travels and through a few emails from readers that have prompted me to change topic. I will move on with Teach/Train/Coach throughout the week.
In addition to the length of time I have taken i am going to go off the last topic a bit as well! Just had some valuabale interactions over the last week of my travels and through a few emails from readers that have prompted me to change topic. I will move on with Teach/Train/Coach throughout the week.
We have discussed over the first number of posts to this blogs various attributes of extraordinary people. Unfortunately so many of them can be wasted by people who live in fear. People who live in fear of losing their job are more likely to ask themselves how to keep their job then how to get ahead. The different answers this leads to may be subtle but still powerfull. If a person is afraid of losing more then looking to win their self talk may be completely different in moments of pressure.
If you are someone who is challenged by fear, who thinks you have the ability to be great but is too fearful to make the required steps then what can be done?
Firstly i would reccomend you read the book "Feel the fear and do it anyways" by Susan Jeffers.
Secondly i would reccomend that you start to find some activities that challenge fears you have. I witnessed a powerful transformation in people a few months back when taking part in a day led by Toby Foxcroft of Motivate International. They used the common fear of heights to challenge people to get out of their comfort zone. It had an amazing effect on people and the learning was profound. People faced their fear of heights and then realized how they could apply the same principles to fear of losing or fear of losing control....
Thirdly I would reccomend you spend time on reflecting on the consequences of living with your fears versus pushing out of your comfort zone.
What is the worst that could happen by living in your comfort zone?
A life lacking passion and enjoyment?
Apathy?
Not fulfilling your potential?
What is the worst that could happen by taking on new challenges by pushing to be the best you possible? Of course it is possible that you will not be succesful at every turn. The world is littered with stories of failure but also of people who failed and failed again before succeeding!
I have always found this simple statement to be the source of so much fear disabling power
"I CAN HANDLE IT"
What if i bomb in my next presentation?
What if i lose out on that next contract?
Not only can i handle it, but i can learn from it, get better, and keep moving forward.
Can you handle it?
Wednesday 7 October 2009
Message 6
Athletes in most if not all sports could categorize the time the spend on their sport in three ways. There is the time they spend learning new skills, practicing their skills, and performing those skills in competition.
Each of these areas has a different focus and in many cases different approaches to maximizing their benefits. Players and coaches who want to get the most out of all sessions need to be aware of the purpose and to plan enough of each type of session to maximize the development of a player.
It could easily be described this way
Player Coach
Learn ------- Teach
Practice ------- Train
Perform ------- Coach
Unfortunately players and coaches often have areas they are strong but also weaker ones because they may not be aware of the attributes and or importance of each.
Have you ever heard of the player that is great in practice but does not perform well in competition? How about the player that competes well but does not learn new skills very well?
Over the next series of posts we will go into detail of each area to look at how to maximize its effect. In the meantime i ask you to reflect on where your strengths and weaknesses may lie as a player or as a coach.
The following clips are not meant as examples of best practice just to get you thinking about how effective you are in each domain.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wRwSrIYb-Jo learn/teach
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TqQDMHM91YE&feature=related practice/train
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9rFx6OFooCs perform/coach
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