message 11

One year at a centre i used to work at i won "the least likey to have his key ring" award at the annual staff Christmas party where they always made fun little prizes. You see you needed your key ring to get through the front gates and without it the receptionists would always have to get up and buzz you in. I never did it intentionally it was just that my office was on the outside of the gates so i would go through dozens of times a day. Normally i had it and if i left it i would almost always go back to my office to get it but inevitably there would be times when i was in a rush and needed one of the receptionists to buzz me in, hence the award.

What effect do you think recieving this award had on me?

Being somebody who understands the power of labels (and yes maybe is a bit of a trouble maker) i no longer cared at all if i forgot my key ring. I would just go up to the gate with a big smile and my hands in the air and say " i know i know, no key ring guy". Everyone would giggle and i would be buzzed in. The net affect on my behavior was that it got worse.....

I know some of you are thinking i was just being silly but do not underestimate the power of labels. People are inclined to behave conguently with their self labels. Great leaders, coaches, teachers, and all people of influence understand this principle and use it to shape positive labels and therefore beliefs and behaviours in people. Unfortunately negative labels have as much influence as postitive ones and people develop them with disasterous results far to often. Once we label a person, lazy, shy, quite, messy, insecure, a troublemaker it is very often going to just increase any problems they are having. I have seen this happen to so many athletes with devasting effect.

Be proactive in developing labels in your athletes or employees or children. Start by developing a strong defenition of powerful positive labels. This can happen very subtly when you catch them really running after a tough ball, going back over the numbers again, trying over and over again to tie a shoe lace tell them "that is great determination you are showing to keep trying when its tough" The next time you see a similar behaviour you can say "wow you always show such great determination when you have a challenge" the next time you will say "that just like you, you have such amazing determination" and the positive labeling is underway. This can be done of couse for any label (positive or negative so be carefull!).

What a wonderful gift you can give somebody the positive self label of confident, courageous, hard worker, determined etc. I am confident you will be amazed by the results of helping people build their "who to be" qualities through strong labels which ultimately become part of their identity.

Good Luck!

message 10

It seems message 10 is a good time for a reflection on how this blog is going.....i have reread the previous posts and hoped you have found them benefecial in some way or another. In reading them they did not have the systematic delivery i had been planning! in saying that the message has been fairly consistent:)

1. defining success
2. questioning yourself
3. belief
4. taking responsibility
5. work ethic
6. Teach/Train/Coach (will be going back to this!)
7. challenging fears
8. various reflections (didnt seem to fit in!)
9. delayed gratification

As i mentioned in one of the previous posts i catagorize most things under "who you are", "what you do", and "what you know". To this point the vast majority of the posts can fit into the "who you are" category which is a fair reflection of its importance. Without these qualities i just do not believe that somebody with all the understanding or practical skills in the world can ever become truely great.

This week i will start to write on more specific points of what to do to develop these qualities in yourself and others as well as looking at how to develop other skills and behaviors. i am certain that i will go back often and add to the "who you are" list as i have experiences that bring them to the forfront. However this week i will be writing on a very regular basis on HOW TO.

Even with a lot or people reading the blogs it is hard to know what posts are most useful. If they can be summed up so far as "who you are", "what to do", and sharing experiences please let me know what is most useful for you so i can make this platform as effective as possible.

message 9

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wWW1vpz1ybo

The video is a fun re-enacment of the marshlow test that was conducted by Dr. Walter Mischel at Stanford University in the 60's and 70's. in simple terms the test was conducted to study delayed gratification.

"What Mischel found over years of following test subjects was that children who rang the bell early - in order to eat the one marshmallow - had more behavioral and academic problems growing up, got lower SAT scores and struggled in stressful situations and had limited friendships as adults. In essence, their lack of self-control had life long effects." Patterson, C., & Mischel, W. (1976). Effects of temptation-inhibiting and task-facilitating plans on self-control. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology

In my experience this inability to struggle a bit now for the longer term good is a very common obstacle to greatness in players as well. Be it the player the parent or the coach so many players move on so quickly from task to task or skill to skill in a search to find the magic fix that will help them win more now. How often do i see lessons on a monday or tuesday that are to fix that low backhand that "caused me to lose on the weekend" or a parent telling the coach to work on the second serve because their child "double faulted the match away".

I see players who are barely able to rally being challenged to play on "real courts" or with "real balls and racquets".

Even though research suggests it takes a normal person thousands of repetitions over weeks to develop a skill i see coaches teaching a new skill every lesson or two.

I feel it is this lack of discipline that leads so many players to subpar development and ultimately limits their long term performance.

good players practice until they can make it, great players practice until they can't not make it"

Do not be in a rush to the next level, the next skill etc. Show the self-control to aoid a "quick fix" mentality. Take a longer term view, be willing to take the time now and put in the thousands of repetitions that will pay off later. There are no quick routes to excellence, be patient, work diligently, get a little better everyday.

This ability to control your urge for the quick fix, to work now for future gain is a characteristic of highly successful people. Be patient and stay focused on your goals, in the long run you will reach your full potential.

message 8

I have finished my crazy 3 weeks.  It included speaking in conferences in Scotland and Spain as well as working at academies in Belgium and various parts of England and Canada.  

From now on i will write this blog weekly and i hope you continue to enjoy it.

for this post i would like to share with you a few of the more interesting meetings/experiences i had over the last few weeks

I met Jackie Reardon, co-author of "MINDSET".  I will keep you posted as i read the book or feel free to share thoughts if you have already read it.  By talking with her it seems to be a very practical read that can be helpful and not just interesting as so many books on the subject seem to be.  I liked the concepts of action vs story thinking

I finished reading Beyond Winning by Gary Walton.  It was a very enjoyable read.  i loved the label of "philosopher coaches" and the stories of the 6 legendary coaches were moving.  It is clear that whatever the sport the "develop the person" model is key to so many coaches success.  i have heard so many coaches say that, but is it really what you do?

I sat in on an NLP session on "effective language" and goal setting.  Both were great, i was really impressed with the goal setting.  Considering how many goal setting sessions i have been part of and delivered it is great when you can still take something from it.  In this case it was the idea of "walking through your goals".  i do not normally respond to these types of sessions but i have to say it was really really good.  the idea is to write your goal out and put it on the wall at the end of the room.  then write out all the short term goals you will need to meet to successfully reach your final goal.  Take it right down to what you need to do today to get you started.  Once all your short term goals are written out and on the floor in the sequence they will happen on the way to your goal then walk over them.  Reflect on how it feels to have met that first goal, then the next.  Are there spots that seem more difficult or more inspiring.  Reflect on why that might be and how you can work through them all.  In the end I found the overwhelming feeling of "this is easy" as you don't see 50 actions to meet your goal, just the next step..... i have already walked through the first 2 steps towards my goal!!

At the Spanish conference i had a chance to watch a few of the top spanish coaches do their thing.  it is so clear that it is not about the skills they teach through their drills it is the people they create.  They teach players to push their limits, to get more out of themselves.  i loved the quote "if it is done too well it is too easy".   There is a constant pursuit to push yourself harder then the last time.  No wander they have a steady flow of champions.....

Talk to you next week

 

Message 7

Thank you to everyone who has started to read my blog, the numbers seem to be going up and up. Also thank you for your patience with how long it has taken to make this post. i am in the middle of a stint that has me in 5 countries and 9 cities in 19 days and i have been too busy to get back to this as regularly as i plan.



In addition to the length of time I have taken i am going to go off the last topic a bit as well! Just had some valuabale interactions over the last week of my travels and through a few emails from readers that have prompted me to change topic. I will move on with Teach/Train/Coach throughout the week.

We have discussed over the first number of posts to this blogs various attributes of extraordinary people. Unfortunately so many of them can be wasted by people who live in fear. People who live in fear of losing their job are more likely to ask themselves how to keep their job then how to get ahead. The different answers this leads to may be subtle but still powerfull. If a person is afraid of losing more then looking to win their self talk may be completely different in moments of pressure.

If you are someone who is challenged by fear, who thinks you have the ability to be great but is too fearful to make the required steps then what can be done?

Firstly i would reccomend you read the book "Feel the fear and do it anyways" by Susan Jeffers.

Secondly i would reccomend that you start to find some activities that challenge fears you have. I witnessed a powerful transformation in people a few months back when taking part in a day led by Toby Foxcroft of Motivate International. They used the common fear of heights to challenge people to get out of their comfort zone. It had an amazing effect on people and the learning was profound. People faced their fear of heights and then realized how they could apply the same principles to fear of losing or fear of losing control....

Thirdly I would reccomend you spend time on reflecting on the consequences of living with your fears versus pushing out of your comfort zone.

What is the worst that could happen by living in your comfort zone?

A life lacking passion and enjoyment?

Apathy?

Not fulfilling your potential?

What is the worst that could happen by taking on new challenges by pushing to be the best you possible? Of course it is possible that you will not be succesful at every turn. The world is littered with stories of failure but also of people who failed and failed again before succeeding!

I have always found this simple statement to be the source of so much fear disabling power

"I CAN HANDLE IT"

What if i bomb in my next presentation?

What if i lose out on that next contract?

Not only can i handle it, but i can learn from it, get better, and keep moving forward.

Can you handle it?

Message 6

Athletes in most if not all sports could categorize the time the spend on their sport in three ways.  There is the time they spend learning new skills, practicing their skills, and performing those skills in competition.  

Each of these areas has a different focus and in many cases different approaches to maximizing their benefits.  Players and coaches who want to get the most out of all sessions need to be aware of the purpose and to plan enough of each type of session to maximize the development of a player.

It could easily be described this way

Player                     Coach

Learn        -------       Teach

Practice    -------        Train

Perform    -------        Coach

Unfortunately players and coaches often have areas they are strong but also weaker ones because they may not be aware of the attributes and or importance of each. 

Have you ever heard of the player that is great in practice but does not perform well in competition? How about the player that competes well but does not learn new skills very well?  

Over the next series of posts we will go into detail of each area to look at how to maximize its effect. In the meantime i ask you to reflect on where your strengths and weaknesses may lie as a player or as a coach.

The following clips are not meant as examples of best practice just to get you thinking about how effective you are in each domain.  

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wRwSrIYb-Jo learn/teach

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TqQDMHM91YE&feature=related      practice/train

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9rFx6OFooCs perform/coach

Message 5

Yesterday i was watching the Colts game watching Peyton Manning, arguably one of the best quarterbacks of all time.  I was very interested when they told the story of how he spent time with each of his receivers this summer individually.  He took them through "skill improvement" sessions to help get better and to improve his timing working with them.  

It reminded me of all the stories you would hear about Michael Jordan being the last one off the court and putting the most work in on the practice court.  If you watch Jordan dominating a game at the end of his Bulls career you would see a plethora of skills and moves that he did not have at the beginning of his career.  Even as the best player in the world he would work each season on adding to is game.

To me these two athletes personify what it is to work hard and be willing to do more then everyone else to reach your goal.  It is so important for people who want to be the very best to have this quality and to work against their peer group.  I often here national level athletes talk about how much they do compared to "normal people" but its not about that.  Its about doing more then the people you are hoping to be better then one day.

So often you hear these people like Jordan or Manning referred to as "talented" but what does that mean?  How do you measure it?  I would suggest that the greatest talent of all is the capacity to work hard.  To keep practicing and practicing in an effective way when others have given up.

The following link is a very interesting study on what it takes to reach maximal performance.  It is a heavy read but worth it if you are interested in such a thing.

http://projects.ict.usc.edu/itw/gel/EricssonDeliberatePracticePR93.pdf

In a conversation i had with a professional athlete recently they said "I hate the word talent".  I am not here to suggest that there is not some level of natural ability that could be possible, but what good is it without the talent to work hard and continuously? 

In the previous posts on this blog i have discussed the ideas of challenging yourself, taking responsibility for your life, having a deep inner belief, and now an extraordinary work ethic.  I have always put peoples qualities into three categories "who they are", "what they do", and "what they know".  I have always believed in the quote

"who you are determines what you do" -unknown author

Which percentage of your time do you spend working on who you are?  Are you like so many people who have goals filled with doing more or learning more?  I would suggest to you that if you work on developing yourself that the rest become much easier.  

Are you willing to do the little extra things like Manning and Jordan do, to ensure you are the best you can be?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WDgKdjf7M4I

Message 4

I would like to share a story

A few years ago a man in his mid thirties was promoted to become the CEO of a major international company.  As is often the case there was some business type media people that were interested to do a profile on him so he agreed to be interviewed by a large magazine.  The writer came in to the office for the interview wanting to learn about this successful business man and what got him there.  He asked him about his family.  The CEO mentioned that his father had passed away and his mother lived in Florida while his only sibling, his twin brother was in jail for drugs and for beating his wife.  The interviewer became very intrigued about these twin brothers, one so successful the other an addict and wife beater.  He got permission to do an interview with the brother as well, thinking it would be an interesting addition to his story.  He asked both brothers about their childhood.  They both answered in quite some detail about a troubled childhood, their father was an alcoholic who was barely ever home and when he was he was always drunk and would beat up their mother and sometimes them as well.  It was a shocking story but it was the next question that shocked the interviewer most.  He asked both brothers, one a convicted felon, the other a hugely successful business man, "what do you think has gotten you to where you are in life now" and they both gave exactly the same answer....." What would you expect, look at my father"

I wish i remembered where i first read that story and partially wish i remember if it was true or not, but either way what a powerful message.  It led me on a personal journey learning of self awareness and the power that it can carry but unfortunately it has  a twin brother as well...the victim mentality. 

"The best way to predict your future is to create it!"

-Abraham Lincoln 

Are you the master of your own life, the architect of your future?  Or are you just living your life feeling the victim to anything that does not seem to go your way?

I challenge you to create a vision for your future and an action plan to bring that vision to life.

message #3

The reoccurring theme of today was "belief" In the words of Virgil
"They can conquer who believe they can"

The power of belief is astonishing, i am always inspired from the movie clip on this link

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-vB59PkB0eQ&feature=related

Confidence is something that goes up and down fairly regularly. I am sure even Lebron James loses confidence in his jump shot or Tiger in his drives but having a deep rooted belief in yourself, your value, can be your fuel when you need to push yourself or face a challenge.

I have asked athletes before...

If i could guarantee you to be the best player in the world at your sport, 100% its a done deal....how would you feel. As you can imagine they often really like the idea of that! However i then ask what if for that guarentee you would have to take a spoon and shovel manure out of my back yard for 4 hours a day for the next 8 years would you do it.....remember at the end of it you are guaranteed #1 in the world.
Most serious athletes say they would jump at the opportunity. If they would do that, why do they not push themselves everyday, every second in the sport they love, why do the not follow their nutritional plan or give it there all in the gym? When i ask that question the answer is usually......"there is no guarantee we will make it". Its that lack of belief in the outcome that makes them wander if the hard work is worth it.

Belief is an amazing thing, it empowers you to reach for the stars at one moment and then at the next it pushes you to do the most simple of tasks in front of you.

How strong is your belief, that of your althletes or employees? Do you have a strategy to develop in on an ongoing basis?

Message #2

Been an interesting and busy week. I am just completing the second week of the British Coaches workshops doing 6 presentations around the UK to around 500 coaches. Despite having 3 different options for connecting to the internet i have been unable to do so in the various cities over the last few days so message 2 was a bit delayed!

After attending a masterclass of the Professional Speakers Association over the weekend i reviewed my presentation and decided the conclusion could be much mor effective. i built a new conclussion around one of my favorite quotes.....


“You can tell whether a man is clever by his answers. You can tell whether a man is wise by his questions” Naguib Mahfouz

I am now finsihing by challenging coaches to look at themselves and their coaching to find ways to help people more. The response has been good and the coaches very engaged.

The key to improving the players yesturday ended up being as simple as creating a desire to learn. Using the forumula D x V x F > cost of change. (Dissatisfaction x Vision x First Steps) We used simple awareness games to create a dissatisfaction in the players about the current performance which led to highly motivated learners. The power of a motivated learner never ceases to amaze me!!!

Message #1

Thank you for following my blog. This is a new platform for me and I hope to use it effectively which will only be measured by how much it helps you.
It seems reasonable to start by defining what it is about.

Performance

The manner in which or the efficiency in which something reacts or fulfills its intended purpose

Potential

capable of being or becoming

The aim of this blog will be to share my experiences as they happen and hope that you can pull on them and any other thoughts and insights i may have from time to time to fullfil your potential, and purpose, succesfully and efficiently

I believe a nice way to start this journey is with the famous words of legendary coach John Wooden

"Success is the peace of mind which is a direct result of self-satisfaction in knowing you made the effort to become the best that you are capable of becoming"

Lets work together to reach our potential, to become the best we are capable of and enjoy the journey!